OK, the Truth

I have become David Sedaris. The only difference is that instead of an oft-referenced boyfriend named Hugh, I have an oft-referenced girlfriend named Deanna.

I say this because my family is scared of me. I'm not violent. I'm not volatile either. I'm actually quite even-tempered and gentle. They are scared that something embarrassing they did might end up on my blog.

"Oooh, I bet that'll end up on his blog," Matt, my little brother, always says. He still refuses to act a clown whenever I pull out my camera. He doesn't want to end up being immortalized by a photo such as this one we took while in Chicago:



My sister covers up her face every time I try and take a picture of her. In fact, I can get anything I want from her by just threatening to put one of her "bad" pictures on Myspace. "I'll kill you," she says whenever I bring up the possibility.

My dad is really the only one willing to be made a fool.

Well, my dad and me.

I don't know what it is. Maybe I would rather have our Hawaiian - Chicago before this - vacation be about my family rather than about the location. I mean, we're all here relaxing - it's very beautiful - but we're also being ourselves. I just find our actions much more interesting than the island.

For example:

My sister tries to be cool. But in reality, she is a violent, lazy geek. Look at this photo:



Then there's Matt, the most serious kid I have ever met. This photo is a perfect illustration:



A little anecdote: On Monday, we ate at Kobe's steakhouse. Matt had excused himself to the bathroom, but before he left had ordered himself a Roy Rodgers. The drink came, but Matt was gone. I had accidentally - I swear - dropped a couple of pieces of fried rice into his drink. "Oh sh--," I said to my sister pointing at the rice. She agreed: "Oh sh--." We knew that if Matt came back and saw the rice floating in his drink, he'd flip out. So we tried to get out all we could. Finally we said screw it and pushed the rice all the way to the bottom. Matt came back and didn't see the rice. He took a drink and actually sucked a grain up. He pulled it out of his mouth assuming that this grain was stuck in the back of his mouth and came out with the liquid.

Anyway, Matt didn't flip when we gave up the secret - we couldn't contain our laughter when he drank the rice. But we were sure scared he would.

Then there's my dad. He too is a ball of stress. This is him stressing out about his car before we left LAX:



But since he retired from being a cop more than a year ago, he's learned how to relax a little bit more - Hawaii is his favorite place to do so.



Sure he may need a few drinks to relax, but at least he's relaxing.



Me, on the other hand, I'm not good at relaxing. I either need to read, write or surf the Internet nearly all day long. It's just me - drinks or no drinks. But if you're reading this blog, I don't want you to think that I think I'm perfect. I'm not. In fact, I'm probably the biggest geek in my family.

From the clothes I wear:



To the faces I make while taking pictures of myself:





I am a geek. But that's cool with me. Being serious just doesn't seem to be much fun. In fact, it makes life a bit boring, which is why I write the blogs making fun of my family members. But we are having a real good time while in Hawaii. Most of the time, they aren't worried about my blogs. Most of the time we are swimming, eating or even just relaxing in front of the TV or outside with a book.

Truth is we're a loving family that enjoys each other's company.



I look forward to the rest of the week. We are going to see a show tonight and are going to snorkel on Saturday. But most of all, I look forward to the laughs and memories that we will take home from the trip.