Too little, too, eh, you know the rest

Michael DM
My Address
Baldwin Park, CA 91706

Dear Mr. President:

So, I thought about asking my girlfriend Deanna if she wanted to go to winter formal with me this last weekend. Unfortunately, it would've been too little too late since I graduated high school ten years ago.

Same thing goes for your SOTU (that's State of the Union for all you non-hip peeps out there) address today. You say, and I quote, "To reach this goal, we must increase the supply of alternative fuels, by setting a mandatory fuels standard to require 35 billion gallons of renewable and alternative fuels in 2017 -- this is nearly five times the current target. At the same time, we need to reform and modernize fuel economy standards for cars the way we did for light trucks -- and conserve up to eight and a half billion more gallons of gasoline by 2017."

Uh, er, Mr. President? The, um, Democrats wanted to increase fuel economy standards when you first got into office, you said it'd be bad for the economy and would be more dangerous because it'd require automakers to construct lighter automobiles. Is it not bad for the economy now? Is it not dangerous anymore? Or has public opinion finally persuaded you that maybe it's time that you stop giving a White House handjob to the auto industry?

Oh, Mr. President, you know that another reason to raise CAFE standards (fuel economy) is that nearly 100 percent of scientists agree that global warming is occurring and that humans, their driving habits and their energy habits, are what is driving it? Yet, how many times did you mention global warming in your SOTU? Guess. ZERO. You did not mention global warming at all! Sort of like Hitler hiding in his bunker, huh? Just pretend that everything is A'OK and everything will be perfect. Right?

But finally you are doing something about health care. (Even though you pledged to do something about it during the 2000 election campaign versus Al "That guy who won the election" Gore.) I just don't understand why you guys over there can't come up with a plan to insure the uninsured without forcing some people to pay higher payroll taxes, while allowing those without insurance to pay for their health care via a tax deduction. My thoughts? A single-payer health system (it's like prom) seems much simpler and much more fair.

Anyway, thanks for nothing, jerk.

Sincerely,

Mr. Michael DM, an unhappy American citizen.