No more negativity

Some of you know that I've been going to counseling the last few months because I wasn't able to handle my stress so well. I've (sorta) learned to do better at this. I still struggle at times. But one thing I've learned I can't handle at all is negativity. I'm done dealing with it. If you want to be mean to someone, go write in a journal. If you want to gossip just because it's fun, go to one of your crap-talking friends. This kind of incessent negativity takes a lot out of me and adds stress that I don't need. I'm sure a lot of people feel this way, but haven't pinpointed the reasons.

I'm not saying I'm not going to be here for someone who is struggling with a problem. It's my duty to help someone with genuine concerns. It's all of our duties to be there for people who need us. And I'll give you the best advice I can, but I know I'm not going to cure you. Maybe I can lead you down a good path, but I can't hold your hand.

I just don't have the energy anymore. Peace.

Bono's sermon

Just to let you all know, Bono is my "celebrity" role model. I think anyone who uses his or her fame and money to use for the good of humanity is a hero. Anyway, this is a speech he gave at a prayer breakfast this last week. Read it. Don't ignore what he has to say because it's important to all of us...

Call to Greatness

So I spent much of this afternoon close to tears. I sat at my desk at work and listened to my iPod. I listened to the story of Pope John Paul II's death and it broke my heart. The pope died the way he said we should live by taking advantage of every breath of life he had in his body.

So I listened to this and started thinking about the pope's life and what he stood for. Many people have qualms with him and the Catholic Church for the stance they hold on artificial birth control and abortion, but their position is the only consistent one I see. The position that the Church, and through that, the pope holds is that life is sacred from beginning to the end. And that is EVERY life. Not just the lives of loved ones. Or that's not just the lives of Americans. The church means the life of all 6 billion people living on this planet and the millions of the unborn.

Now, I don't want to get all religious or start a debate on when life begins and whether the birth control is OK because that's not what I mean to write about. What I want to write about is this undying love of life that the pope had and encouraged each and every one of us - Catholic or not - to live. By living, that means enjoying every moment to its fullest. It means serving each other. It means respecting each other.

When I look around at what is happening I see great things. My boy The Edge joined in the benefit concert for the victims of New Orleans. Then Bono asked President Bush to up the amount the United States gives in foreign aid - 1 percent of the U.S. budget goes to needy nations. Bill Gates is paying for half the world's health care. Debt in Africa has been greatly reduced, which will allow the countries on the continent to build up their infrastructure and improve quality of life there.

But are we doing enough for each other. Have I helped my neighbor today? No. Did I help my neighbor yesterday? I doubt it. What am I doing except trying to take care of myself? Nothing. I am called to do something more than that. We all are. The No. 1 person we should be concerned about isn't ourselves. The person I should be concerned for is you, whoever is reading this. It's the person who is standing on the sidewalk begging for just a little bit of change. It's the depressed woman at work who just needs a hug or someone to talk to, but no one will listen.

I don't know. The older I get, the more I realize I'm not even close to being where I need to be. The pope reminded us that we are all called to be saints; for those who don't believe that, believe that we are all called to be great. The world works best when we are serving each other and living to the fullest.

Complications

I sat here on my bed - I'm stealing a neighbor's wireless Internet somehow - wondering what to write about... yeah, it's late and I know I should go to bed, but I didn't want to. So I wondered... "what to write, what to write..." Then it hit me... It's what I've been complaining about for a while: WHY CAN'T THINGS BE EASY?

Now, I'm not Job. Not by a long shot. But sometimes I feel like I am. Sometimes I feel as if the devil had told God, "Watch, I bet you if we make things really complicated for Mike, he'll stop believing in you" or something like that. Or maybe it's not even the devil. Maybe it's, I dunno, the terrorists' fault that things are so complicated (it's their fault I have to take my shoes off at the airport).

I mean, I've just been thinking about this day after day and I know I'm not the only one who suffers through this. By this I mean complications, or worries, or anxieties, or barriers, or drama in the LBC. I know that people face a lot more than I do. But for once, just for one day, I would like it to be complication-free. For those Harry Potter fans, I want one day where I feel like I've taken Felix Felicis (that's a good-luck potion for the rest of you). I want to be able to sleep 8 hours. I want to be able to wake up in the morning, have a pain-free, yet exhilirating workout. I want work to call me and say, "Mike, you know, we've had a bomb threat and the campus is closed. Stay home today." I want to be able to eat whatever I want and not get ill. I want to be able to be with whomever I want and be able to relax and not think about what will happen with us tomorrow, or next week, or five years from now.

That's all I want. Is that too much to ask?

Captain Backfire

Again, I just want to reiterate my feeling that John Mayer's song "My Stupid Mouth" is perfect for me... It's true, maybe I just wanna be liked... I wanna be funny... yeah, sometimes I try to hard. But is that really a bad thing?

"No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one soon"

But yet, I remain defiant...

"Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire"

I'm out

High school crushes

Me and an old high school friend of mine talked online about our 10-year high school reunion. We talked about who we wanted to see. I said, "Wouldn't it be sweet if I hooked up with so-and-so," mentioning a couple of girls I had crushes on in high school. I don't remember what she said in reply, but it got me thinking.

At first, I thought, I'm going to go up to so and so, make her laugh. I'll say, "You're still single? That's crazy. I would've married you a long time ago."

And then she'd giggle. I'd buy her a drink and then bam, I'd be dating a girl I wanted to date a decade ago.

Then I thought, do I have issues? Am I the only one who would get all giddy if I ran into a girl I had a big crush on 10 years ago?

I really don't think I am. I tried to search for studies about high school crushes, but didn't come up with any. But one interesting story I saw was about how Jake Ryan in "Sixteen Candles" is the epitome of a high school crush.

Anyway, let me know your thoughts on high school crushes...

I'm just having all these ideas about what I want to do for a career because I'm just really, really bored in what I'm doing. In fact, I've had several ideas of what I want to do from here on out... until I write a best-selling book that is optioned for millions...

the aforementioned college counselor - help students figure out what direction they want their college careers to go.

high school English/Writing/Government teacher - so I have my bachelor's in journalism and am getting my master's in professional writing... I also have a minor in political science. I just have the desire to give back somehow.

junior college English/Creative writing teacher - I got my start at a junior college and I want others who underacheived in high school, or who just struggled to have a fair shot at success.

Web-site writer/editor - so I've figured out that basically I want out of the mainstream media, whether it's journalism or public relations. I want out. But I also want to write about what's going on in the world. So maybe this will give me the opportunity to write independently, make money and feed my ego.

Well, those are some ideas I have... let me know any ideas you may have about my ideas... peace.

Revelation

So I'm on the phone with one of my friends (Rita B, I love you) and I'm helping her with her college schedule, right? And then I'm like, "I really like doing this." So then I think that maybe I should ditch the whole communications field and become an academic advisor at a college. Anyway, just a thought...