The ticket sham

So I'm searching everywhere - my pants, my desk, my coat pocket, even under my car seats - for two quarters. Actually it didn't even have to be two quarters. It could of been a combination of quarters, dimes and nickels. Anything. All I needed was 50 cents for the stupid parking meter. I found 45 cents and put that into the meter - I was safe for another hour and 45 minutes.

Or at least I assumed I was. Then I thought of all the types of tickets I've received parking at the meters. Expired meter ticket? Check. Street cleaning day ticket? Check. Parking over the 2 hour time limit? Check. Parking without a front license plate? Check. Could they get me for any of these?

As my anxiety built up, so did my anger and it hit me: the biggest sham in city government is parking tickets!

Now I understand the need to ticket people who park on the street during street cleaning day; I can even dig ticketing the people who haven't fed the meter. But a time limit? Ticketing a car that lacks a front license plate even though the car is parked? That's a rebuff.

I'm always tempted to send in a jar of vaseline when I pay my fine. Attached to the jar would be a note: "Thanks for sticking it to me." But with my luck (and looks) they'd probably decide that that joke would be a terrorist threat or something like that. Then I'd probably get my phones tapped. And maybe they'd even use my vaseline I sent in for a different type of probing.

Why is there even a time limit? I assume it's to make it fair for other people who want to park at a meter. But really, when does a city, especially Los Angeles, care about being fair? No. There is a time limit because the city wants people to exceed that time limit to gain an extra $30 revenue - even if the meter still has minutes in it. Why ticket for lack of a front license plate? The signal cameras in LA aren't even turned on. That's really the only reason for front plates.

I had a conversation with a parking officer. She said, "We have to ticket out-of-staters and people who have no place to put their front license plate." She mentioned Corvettes, which don't have room for a front plate.

Now I'm sitting at my desk and have a good view at my car. I've probably looked at it about 10 times while writing this to make sure the parking officer isn't there writing another ticket. I know that if I get a ticket I won't fight it. The city knows this too, which is why they have no qualms ordering their officers to write them. Jerks.